Yes, so there we have it. Confirmed as Bells Palsy. My face is frozen on the right side. I run spider fingers over the right side and feel nothing. In contrast, the left side looks too animated, lined and old. For the first time in my life, I can lift one eyebrow sardonically, quizzically, coquettishly, and in so many other ways ~ the other eyebrow refuses to lift, and remains stoically in its place, making my face half mobster and half mime artiste!
How did this happen? you know how things happen in a blink of an eye, when you least expect it? Yes, well, thats how. I came back on a train after an exhilarating and fabulous trip (more on that later) and slept on the top bunk, got the blast from the AC vent into my ear despite covering up and keeping warm. Had a mild earache the next morning which i paid no heed to; however, when that earache grew stronger and then got compounded by a throbbing pain in the back of the head, I got worried. Not worried enough though. It was not till the third day, when I felt my face freezing up, and going tight, that I called the doctor to find out what could be wrong.
You know what scared me the most? the realisation/ acceptance of the fact that anything can happen at any time; here I was sailing along, having the best three months in my life in a very long time, doing everything I enjoyed, feeling beautiful and fulfilled, looking forward to new ventures, and ZING came the arrow that can possibly ruin everything! I'm having trouble saying Pep talk, Popcorn, popular ~ did you know how important your lip, your entire lip was, in ensuring your speech remained crystal clear? aah but I have no problem saying Pomfret! Yay, there's hope yet!
Today I had my first session with the Physiotherapist; good heavens, I didn't know I would need electric shock therapy!!!! Not only did he take me by surprise but I had to endure the feeling that there was giant metallic dragonfly (the kind you see in Sci-Fi Horror Films, I swear!) scrunching my face out of shape and whirring its wings around my eyes....Help! and this is going to carry on for at least six weeks! How will I live through it?
How do people endure so much pain? Accident victims, burn victims, people ravaged by war, violence? I feel a little ashamed to have such a low threshold of pain ~ I tried hard not to feel it - kept saying " embrace the pain embrace the pain" to myself; Sensei's words kept coming back to me "Suffer what there is to suffer, enjoy what there is to enjoy; regard both suffering and joy as facts of life" ~ it helped somewhat, but there was no getting away from the physical, excrutiating, never ending pain.
How did this happen? you know how things happen in a blink of an eye, when you least expect it? Yes, well, thats how. I came back on a train after an exhilarating and fabulous trip (more on that later) and slept on the top bunk, got the blast from the AC vent into my ear despite covering up and keeping warm. Had a mild earache the next morning which i paid no heed to; however, when that earache grew stronger and then got compounded by a throbbing pain in the back of the head, I got worried. Not worried enough though. It was not till the third day, when I felt my face freezing up, and going tight, that I called the doctor to find out what could be wrong.
You know what scared me the most? the realisation/ acceptance of the fact that anything can happen at any time; here I was sailing along, having the best three months in my life in a very long time, doing everything I enjoyed, feeling beautiful and fulfilled, looking forward to new ventures, and ZING came the arrow that can possibly ruin everything! I'm having trouble saying Pep talk, Popcorn, popular ~ did you know how important your lip, your entire lip was, in ensuring your speech remained crystal clear? aah but I have no problem saying Pomfret! Yay, there's hope yet!
Today I had my first session with the Physiotherapist; good heavens, I didn't know I would need electric shock therapy!!!! Not only did he take me by surprise but I had to endure the feeling that there was giant metallic dragonfly (the kind you see in Sci-Fi Horror Films, I swear!) scrunching my face out of shape and whirring its wings around my eyes....Help! and this is going to carry on for at least six weeks! How will I live through it?
How do people endure so much pain? Accident victims, burn victims, people ravaged by war, violence? I feel a little ashamed to have such a low threshold of pain ~ I tried hard not to feel it - kept saying " embrace the pain embrace the pain" to myself; Sensei's words kept coming back to me "Suffer what there is to suffer, enjoy what there is to enjoy; regard both suffering and joy as facts of life" ~ it helped somewhat, but there was no getting away from the physical, excrutiating, never ending pain.
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